Thought Repository

A Better Student... for what?

So, I have tried, today, to be a better student. I realized that despite the fact that I don't think it is important to me, it must be. When I see people who do better than me, or I see how poorly I actually do, I wish I were better. I feel below good students and that isn't what I want. So I tried to do work. To get things done so that I would know what it feels like to have fun with everything done. It didn't work. I realized, "What's the point?" Things were going well, but then I had a sudden realization, and knew that even without work, I wouldn't be happy. I won't ever be happy. It's a tough thing to realize, because I like to be optimistic and think things will *eventutally* work out... but they won't.

Since things were going well, might was well mention them. Halloween party was cool. The party itself didn't go so great, but my costume was cool. Check out pictures. Although, on the note of halloween, there was another party I was supposed to go to and didn't. I really should have but I just can't handle stuff like that, it makes me sad. Also, AEPi had a mixer where we did karaoke. It was actually surprisingly fun. I guess the fact that I like to sing helps but I was surprised that I wasn't really embarassed at all not only to sing in front of 30 or so people, but to sing Whitney Houston.

The ice rink is supposed to open on Monday. That is something I'm looking forward to. I have been waiting to go ice skating for a while now. I already have plans to go with a whole bunch of people. It should be /interesting/. That is what I was looking forward to, but in light of other things, it just can't really make up. I have to try to put on a positive face, and make it seem to others like my life is worth living. Right. Signing out.