My group's latest visual story project was to shoot a music video. Our last project was to reshoot a specific scene from American Beauty. We ended shooting it with sock puppets for actors. It was kind of tricky but it came out pretty well. Mike and Kyle did the editing for that one, but Ben and I were doing the editing for this music video.

We chose the song, "I'm just a kid" by Simple Plan. It was really Mike's suggestion, I know he likes them, but I also like that song. I really identify with it because it is about a kid feeling lonely and left out. I have felt that way much of my life. I often spend a lot of time with myself and find myself excluding from doing things with others, even those I consider my friends.

The plot of our video shows him committing suicide which turns out to be a dream. The video is suppsed to be a journey. The rest of the video shows his loneliness and his journey. At first you might not know where he is going, and it isn't clear if he does. He ends up back at the Cathedral of Learning (where he had jumped in the video) and he climbs out to the same ledge. In the end we have someone stop him just in time, because we didn't actually want him to die.

I really wanted to play the part, because of how I identify (except of the suicide). My group complained that my hair was too bright to be depressed and we wanted someone a little younger (i.e. no facial hair). Mike also wanted to play the role. I went out of my way to shave and dye my hair black. After all that they told me that Mike decided he was going to do it. I was a bit upset. When I met them I waited in character anyway. They all said that I really looked the part, which made me think they had changed their mind again. I even think that Kyle might have, because while we were making our way to the first real scene he was shooting random footage of me. But when we got to the first real scene Mike just started doing it, and that was that.

I don't know if I don't argue enough or too much. Sometimes it feels like both. The same was true with the editing. Ben and I were doing it with the others coming in occasionally. There were a couple arguments about how to do certain things, and I don't know how I could be better about these things. Avid was a real pain in the ass, and I wish I could have done a better job at editing. I don't know if I'm just not cut out for it, if I need more practice, if Avid just blows, or if I'm just too much of a perfectionist to ever like something I've done. I think it will come out ok, though.